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The Laughing Mom: humorous tales of motherhood PDF Print E-mail
Written by Susan Pfaltzgraff   

Overdue

So here I am, writing yet another column while pregnant. Last week, as I sat in this very same position, I truly, sincerely, honestly expected I would be holding a newborn baby this week as I typed. I thought this column would hold delightful tales of her birth (hopefully a short one).

I’m quite stunned this baby didn’t come on time. My doctor confirmed that full moons and low-pressure weather systems, like snow storms, help bring along births. The night before the due date we had both!

But here I sit. Pregnant. STILL pregnant. And here’s my belly—just getting bigger and lower and heavier. And did I mention heavier?

And there’s Melise, my precious 2-year-old daughter who is full of life and in constant motion. She runs across the house, and I follow, huffing and puffing for lack of breath, about 10 feet behind her.

In the last few days, Melise caught on that Baby Sister is late. Melise and I tried to hold an intervention. With Melise facing my belly from my lap (what little is left) and me looking down from above, we took turns saying, “Come out now, baby! Time to be born!”

Roy, aka Daddy, was helping Melise jump high in the air. With each “jump” he lifted her high above his head. After a few jumps, Melise came to me, winded with laughter. She placed her hands on either side on my belly and said, “Baby Sister turn!”

“Oh yes,” I said, “tell Baby Sister that she can take a turn jumping if she comes out!” And then we spent several minutes explaining to my belly how much fun it is to be outside!

One of my pastimes is wondering what the personality of this child will be. So many other parents have told me about their children who are polar opposites. I pray this is the case. I don’t mean that I wouldn’t love another child just like Melise, but I don’t think I could keep up with two wild, outgoing and independent kids. So I envision this little lady will be my calm and quiet child.

When I explained my hopes to Roy, he said, “Or maybe Melise will be the calm and quiet one compared to her little sister!”

I had a delightful conversation with a friend of mine about the zodiac sign my baby will be born under. Since she missed her due date, she has securely made herself an Aquarius. My friend loves this stuff, so I asked her to tell me about my unborn child’s personality. First, I asked her if she thought the baby would be as crazy as Melise.

“Oh yes!” she answered enthusiastically. When I groaned, she quickly added, “But in a different way!” I’m not sure which is better; the crazy I know versus the crazy I don’t.

My next question was whether she would be a punctual individual. Her answer was, “Aquarians tend to live in their own world, on their own time table.”

“Great,” I said, “She’s probably forgotten all about being born!”

As much as I gripe, I know babies come in their own time. If I didn’t know that before, Roy has reminded me just about every day. Babies come in their own time, no matter what their personality will be, no matter what snow storm or moon phase is passing by, no matter how much their mothers gripe and pout! If this confirms anything about parenthood to me, it would be how very little control over our children we have, even before they’re born!