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The Laughing Mom: humorous tales of motherhood PDF Print E-mail
Written by Susan Pfaltzgraff   

A pain in the rib

Being a mom is dangerous. Of all the silly things, I popped my rib out while installing car seats! I reached into the car and steadied myself by leaning my upper chest against the door frame. I gave a strong yank on the strap to tighten the seat down and felt a little “pop” in my chest.

I thought the sensation was strange, but it was such a small thing that I forgot about it. Two days after that, everything in my upper chest, shoulder and arm was hurting.

I had no idea that a rib could pop out of place, so I just kept living my life. But each time I picked up Alina I was gasping for breath through the pain. And when I set her down I felt like I would faint. I had never noticed before this that Melise likes to lay her head on my chest right where that rib connects to the breast bone. Every time she snuggled against me I yelped.

Luckily, Alina had her four-month doctor visit approaching. They might as well write “Pfaltzgraff family” on the doctor’s appointment calendar because I always come with a list of questions ranging from Alina’s weight gain to Melise’s eczema to my rib. The doctor never seems surprised, so I doubt I’m the only mom who does this.

The doctor diagnosed my dislocated rib and recommended a chiropractor. Four hours later, I was on my way to the chiropractor with two cranky babies.

As usual, Melise whined most of the car trip just to fall asleep five minutes before we reached our destination. She was so far gone that I decided to let her sleep. I pulled the huge stroller out of the trunk of my car and felt stabs of pain down my arm. I lifted my limp toddler into it. With my good arm I lugged Alina along in her carseat and with my bad arm I pushed the stroller.

By the time all of us were in the office, I was in a lot of pain and Melise was wide awake! Melise immediately pointed out that she didn’t have her shoes. I ran out to get them. Less than a minute later, I was back with shoes, but had forgotten my wallet. Back out I ran!

As soon as we were settled in the waiting room with everything we needed, I was called to an exam room. I pushed the cart and toted the carseat down the narrow hallway and wondered how much stress I was putting on my rib with every step.

It took me 30 minutes to drive to the chiropractor, 15 minutes in the waiting room (or running back and forth from that point) and in less than 10 minutes the chiropractor had put my rib back in place! I asked her three times if she was really done. Alina was crying by that point and Melise was climbing on the exam table, so I was happy to say goodbye!

We went to the grocery store right after that and Melise threw a royal tantrum. Normally, public tantrums make me sweat, but I had just been relieved of so much physical pain that there was no amount of tantrum that could top how good I felt! I gave her a kiss, plopped her back in her carseat (the source of all this drama), and drove off quite satisfied with life!

Holyoke Enterprise June 9, 2011