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Written by Chris Lee   

OMG

Uh-oh. Look what happened. Seventy-two days of wedded bliss and kapooey, it’s over.

That’s right, Kim Kardashian and NBA hubby Kris Humphries have called it quits. Well, actually she filed for divorce last Monday and he really hasn’t been seen since. Or at least today’s celebrity-hungry news media haven’t been able to find him.

Now, the power duo is being blamed for orchestrating a sham wedding. I mean, he probably needed some way to get more cash seeing how the NBA lockout doesn’t look like it’s heading anywhere soon. And she probably needs more ... you know what, she doesn’t need any more money, she’s a Kardashian.

PLEASE don’t get me wrong, I’m not a religious follower of the Kardashian clan—by any means. I swear! What really grinds my gears is the fact I know way too much about them. Why? Because they are always on the news. For what? Being, well, on T.V.!

I found it quite irritating last week when listening to the radio, watching television and even surfing around on the internet, and all I could hear and see was this filth about the Kardashian/Humphries split.

It’s not like our economy is in the loo, schools are losing tons of funding, troops are still at war and there is a presidential election only a year away. Oh wait, there was some candidacy news last week.

For those of you keeping an ear in the current presidential election loop, there was some news about it. However, it wasn’t about creating jobs, fixing the economy or even really who was leading in the current polls. The news was about GOP candidate Herman Cain and sexual harassment allegations. Those darn ghosts, why don’t they stay in the past?

Sticking to that unsettling topic, did you hear Justin Bieber, 17, has been accused of fathering a child with a 20-year-old? The woman appeared on different talk shows last week begging her alleged baby daddy to step up and take a paternity test. We have yet to hear Selena’s side of things.

Oooh, and did you hear about that guy in New York who is suing his wedding photographer for missing the last dance and bouquet toss at his wedding? He is mad because his photographer missed some of the bigger shots at his wedding—what he figures is 15 percent of the day.

The man is suing for a reimbursement of the $4,100 he paid and $48,000 to reunite the entire wedding party to restage the event.

There is a problem however. His wedding took place in 2003. That’s right, eight years ago. But wait, here’s the kicker. The couple divorced last year and his ex has left the country. Oops, how will this one play out?

Oh man, and did you hear that Kate Middleton may be pregnant? Apparently, she didn’t want to eat some peanut paste during a royal appearance in Denmark—so that means she is probably pregnant.

This would be one of the more allowable stories seeing how the entire world followed this never-ending love story earlier this year.

And last but not least, Dr. Conrad Murray was found guilty for the death of Michael Jackson.

Let’s stick to the real news America. Did we not notice how the stock market had another dismal week last week? Nope, because Kris and Kim stole everything!

Hey, where is Baby Lisa?

Holyoke Enterprise November 10, 2011