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The Laughing Mom: humorous tales of motherhood PDF Print E-mail
Written by Susan Pfaltzgraff   

Rise and shine

“The sun, Mommy! The sun!” That is what I woke up to almost every morning last summer at the crack of dawn.

“Yes, Melise, the sun is up,” I responded groggily. It was always the grey-orange of sunrise when she woke up. I’m not even sure how it was bright enough to wake her up unless she was awake before dawn just waiting for the first ray.

“You awake, Mommy?” she asked as she got her face as close to mine as possible. All I could see in my field of vision were her bright eyes.

“Yes, Melise, I am awake, but I’d really rather be sleeping.”

“You tired, Mommy?”

“Yes, I’m tired. Can I go back to sleep?” I closed my eyes hopefully.

“No, Mommy! Wake up!”

I tried to stall with conversation. “What are we going to do when I get up?”


“Oh, what are you making me for breakfast?”

She started jabbering so fast that I couldn’t understand what she’s talking about, but at the end she said, “Have you seen lizard, Mommy?

“What lizard?”

“Lizard make breakfast!”

“A lizard is making us breakfast?”


In my head I ran through all the cartoons we had watched together, but I didn’t remember one with a lizard that cooks. It must be purely Melise’s imagination. “What is the lizard cooking?”

“Eggs and bacon!”

“Wow, sounds good. Will the lizard make me coffee, too?”

“Yeah! That’s a great idea!” She’s always so darned enthusiastic in the mornings!

“I think so, too. Please tell the lizard to get started.”

“Yeah,” she said as she ran out of the room. “Lizard! Oh, Lizard! Make coffee!”

Melise ran back to me and climbed on the bed. I told her to be careful of Alina who is laying alongside me while she nursed

“Alina sleeping?” she asked right in Alina’s ear. Alina immediately opened her eyes and looked offended.

“Alina awake, Mommy!”

“Yes,” I sighed, “yes she is.” At that point there was absolutely no chance of falling back to sleep.

“Get up, Mommy. Go take shower!”

“I thought we were eating breakfast.”

“You need shower,” she said very seriously.

“I do, huh? Do I smell?”

“Yeah! Smell like garden!” I’d like to think that she meant I smell like flowers, but I have a feeling that she meant something else entirely. I finally gave in to her demands and pulled myself out of bed.

“That lizard better have my coffee ready!” I muttered as I turned on the shower. I have to admit, Melise was an effective alarm clock!

Holyoke Enterprise December 8, 2011