Weather Forecast

Find more about Weather in Holyoke, CO
Click for weather forecast
The Laughing Mom: humorous tales of motherhood PDF Print E-mail
Written by Susan Pfaltzgraff   

Kids say the darnedest things

Before Melise was 3 years old, she was a jabber-box! No matter what we’re doing or where we are, she just keeps talking. I can’t count the amount of times people have said, “My, she has a lot to say.”

Often, when she plays alone, she acts out stories using voices and motions, such as this:

“Oh Grandma, come fly with me!” Melise swoops a pointer finger through the air like it is flying.

The other pointer finger wiggles on her knee and replies, “I don’t know how to fly.”

“That’s okay, I’ll help you.” One of her hands picks up the other and they fly together.

“Wheeee! This is fun!”

“Hold on, Grandma! Oh no!” One hand crashes to her lap. The flying hand swoops down to check on the fallen Grandma hand and gives her a big hug. No hands were injured.

Not long after, some of our cousins were visiting and gave Melise a doll house. They sent the dolls separately, so the house seemed empty at first. Never fear, Melise’s pointer fingers arrived on the scene again!

As one pointer finger lay in bed, the other pointer entered the room and yelled, “Boo!”

The one in bed jumped up and yelled, “A monster!”

The monster replied, “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“That’s okay. We can still be friends.” And they hugged. Don’t you love stories with happy endings?

Her best jabbering is done when she has someone to talk back to her. I’ve learned through careful study that there is always something more creative and funny in her head if I just ask the right questions.

For instance, we were sitting down to supper one evening when Melise asked, “Who’s that?”

I looked out the window where she was pointing and saw the local tomcat. “That’s Meanie.” Just to clarify, he’s mean to other cats, not people.

“Oh,” said Melise, “What’s he called?”

I was confused. “He’s called Meanie ... he’s a cat.”

She got this bright look in her eyes and started jabbering so fast that I couldn’t keep up. Suddenly, her words became clearer and I heard her say, “He’s a lizard and a donkey and a tiger.”

“Meanie is a lizard, a donkey, and a tiger?”

“Yeah, but first he’s a cat,” she explained.

“Oh, of course.”

“He train to be cat.”

Now I was completely lost. “Meanie trained to be a cat?”

“Yeah,” she nodded excitedly. “First cat, then lizard and donkey and tiger.”

“So, how long does it take to train to be a cat?”

Melise didn’t even look up from her supper when she said, “Two.”


“Two minutes.”

“That is some serious training.” Melise nodded in agreement and then excused herself from the table. And I was left wondering how long it takes to be a lizard.

Holyoke Enterprise May 31, 2012