Proofreading is important
One of the fun things that David Letterman and Jay Leno used to do on “The Tonight Show” was to read some actual, yet poorly written, headlines from papers. I loved some of them, as I imagine many of you would, too. Well, the other day, a friend sent me a bunch of good ones. I don’t know the source — to preclude an accusation of plagiarism on my part — but I assure you that I am not making them up. Here are some of the best ones, with my comments to follow.
“Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter” — now this seems highly improbable. “Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over” — hopefully, there is no embarrassing video on Facebook. “Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures” — for me, this smacks of the nonsensical statement “climate change” (doesn’t climate always change?). “Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft” — I empathize with this high flyer, as I have shed some airy material while flying at high altitudes.
“Kids Make Nutritious Snacks” — this seems to indicate that children are tasty when eaten by something or someone. “Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half” — now this seems a little sad, at least for the dropouts! “Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead” — at least the storm didn’t do deadly harm to the living populace. “Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge” — wonder if the man had just stepped out of his battery-powered Tesla?
“Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges” — I am no structural engineer, but I think this is too cost saving to be practical. “War Dims Hope for Peace” — of course I think that peace for the Ukrainians seems gloomy as long as Russia perpetuates war on the country. “Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers” — I am really upset with litterers, but I think running down jaywalkers is going a tad too far. “Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says” — fortunately, my landings equaled my takeoffs, but this guy is not that sharp as an expert for the National Transportation Safety Board.
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