A bit of fatherly advice

Everybody has their role to play in a wedding: the couple, of course, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, the mothers of the bride and groom.

But spare a thought for the father of either. He’s often reduced to the role of bystander, and maybe financier. There just isn’t as much for him to do.

But he’s more than a mannequin in a  tuxedo.

Asked about his role in his daughter Carli’s Oct. 5 wedding in California, Nick Schultz of Imperial said, “I walked the bride down the aisle.”

Because the Schultzes are from Imperial (Jan Schultz is the editor of the Imperial Republican), there was a limited amount they could do about helping the couple plan the event.

“It’s kind of difficult when you’re 1,500 miles away,” Nick Schultz said.

He wasn’t inclined to take more of a role than was necessary in the planning, anyway.

“You have to understand that it’s her wedding and it’s not [about] what the parents want,” he said. “They have to have some freedom over how it’s going to be.”

But even distance could not affect some of the emotions felt by the father of the bride.

While marrying off his younger daughter didn’t change their relationship, “one of the things I [remembered] is that she’s found someone else to take care of her now. That, to some extent, kicks me out of part of her life. It gets to be part of her husband’s life.”

He felt the loss of that protector role even though Carli hasn’t lived under his roof in perhaps 15 years.

And despite being a stoic Midwesterner, the wedding made him “a little bit emotional,” he says. “I’m happy for her, certainly. I shouldn’t say it was hard for me, because I was happy to see her getting married, and just imagining how happy it would be making her.”

He kept his advice to the new bride simple.

“Just letting her know that it will sometimes be difficult. It takes work, but it’s all worthwhile.”

Click here to read the entire "Weddings" section online for free.