Friendsgiving

What started as a collegiate trend has now become a new national custom across the United States. University students who either couldn’t afford to fly home, or didn’t want to subject themselves to less-than-desirable family dynamics, initiated an alternative to Thanksgiving that was easy on the pocket and stress-free — enter circa 2007, the very first coins of the term “Friendsgiving.” 

Most participants of the contemporary gathering used Friendsgiving as a replacement for the traditional, family-centered feast. Today though, many find that they observe Friendsgiving in addition to their family gathering, taking place on a day other than the actual Thanksgiving holiday. 

Here in Holyoke, many Holyokeans can be found participating in their own Friendsgiving feasts each year. New-to-town transplants Ashley and Austin Schoffner began celebrating Friendsgiving because family lived states away and being together for the holiday wasn’t an option. 

Employed as a physical therapist for Melissa Memorial Hospital, Ashley receives a turkey each year from the hospital. This is a seemingly perfect excuse to need to find other hungry people to help them eat their “bird,” but Ashley explains, “When I came to Holyoke, I said in my job interview I wanted to work somewhere where I felt like they were my family. I found that job! Not having family close by, it really helps to have events like these with my friends. No one can replace family, but love is love!” said Shoffner. 

Shoffner shared how special her first Friendsgiving was in her new community, because she was the host in the first home she and her husband had just purchased the week of Thanksgiving, and it made for some wonderful memories. 

In contrast to making new friends, Daniela Baeza and friends use Friendsgiving to reconnect with old ones. What began as a way to catch up while being home from college for the Thanksgiving holiday has now became an annual tradition they plan to do for many more years. 

Baeza graduated from high school in 2017 and college in 2021, and says they started their first Friendsgiving three years ago. She says they seem to have more and more join each year, and therefore their Friendsgiving spread continues to grow with fixings such as “funeral potatoes, cinnamon rolls, random salads and desserts, and of course turkey!” 

They’ve had their gathering at the same friend’s house each year because this friend is one who owns their own home, a yet-to-be-realized goal for most recent college grads. “It’s so refreshing gathering with old classmates. We all change so much over time, we’re all going so far in life. We’re not kids anymore like we used to be!” Baeza says with a giggle. 

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