Sexual assault: What is grooming?

    Most parents don’t have accurate information about sexual predators, states American Counseling Association member Jennifer Foster, an assistant professor of counselor education and counseling psychology at Western Michigan University.
    She tells parents not to think of strangers as sexual predators but to look at who they are inviting over for Thanksgiving. Why? Because 90 percent of sexual predators are a family member or someone close to the family, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. According to The Crimes Against Children Research Center, 36 percent of this number are predator children.    
    Here are some of the steps from the website “Victims of Crimes” that perpetrators use to groom people and their families.
    First they look to identify and target a victim. Anyone can be a victim; sometimes predators can be attracted to certain characteristics or look for vulnerabilities in a family such as a single parent home, a family with a chronically ill child or even a new family in town.
    Perpetrators gain trust and access. They are very good at lending an ear and hearing how a child is doing, they follow sport activities and games, and they give rides, gifts or special treats to gain friendship and trust. They may seem like a knight in shining armor, always there to lend a helping hand.
    “Predators are opportunistic and looking for ways they can seem helpful,” said Foster.
    Perpetrators play a role in the child’s life. They may manipulate the situation and make it seem like they are the only person who understands the child’s problems or that the perpetrator “needs” the child in their life. Again, this increases the child’s feelings of being important and cared about.
    At the right time, the predator may try isolating the child. They may offer the child a ride to somewhere they are not familiar with, so the child is afraid to leave, or take them somewhere they can be alone. They will also test the limits with people around and see what they can get away with and do little things in front of other adults to see if certain acts will draw attention to them (there have been instances where children have been molested with adults in the room).

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