Grief Journey: The bend in the road is not the end

    Every grief journey is different.
    Growing up in a funeral home, Jeanie Daiss, 70, of Grant, was around death continually, but her first recollection of experiencing real grief came at age 14 when her granddad died unexpectedly.
    “I remember how that physically hurt,” she said. “Unfortunately, grief is something we all have to go through.”
    Just over 10 years ago, Jeanie lost her husband of 38 years to cancer.
    A sign hanging in her kitchen reads, “Journey: The bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you refuse to take the turn.”
    On another wall a sign reads, “Life is all about how you handle Plan B.”
    On March 17, 2007, her husband Bill was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. Almost exactly eight months later, on Nov. 16, he passed away at the home they built together in rural Grant.
    After his diagnosis, Bill and Jeanie would walk up a hill on their farm every day, where their neighbor planted a tree for him.
    “We sat and we talked about everything that every couple should talk about,” said Jeanie.
    They discussed life, death, Jeanie’s future, their daughters’ futures. The couple has two daughters, Jen and Jill, who were 22 and 27 at the time.
    Jeanie said the conversations were difficult for Bill, but so good for her. He wanted to see who his daughters would marry. He would never be able to walk them down the aisle. He would never meet his grandkids.
    “He would have been such a good grandpa,” Jeanie said as tears streamed down her face.
    She said it’s healthy to cry. People need to cry.
    After Bill died, Jeanie said she is so grateful she was working, as she felt she would’ve stayed in bed all day.
    She would come home, sit in total darkness and cry.
    She couldn’t sit at the table and eat because she couldn’t stand to look at the empty chair. She would fix something to eat and just stand at the counter.
    Approximately seven to eight months after Bill’s death, a co-worker and friend gave Jeanie a brochure to a grief class.
    “It literally probably saved my life,” she said.
    The most important thing she took away from the class was embracing her grief and walking through it.
    She wasn’t interested in doing that at the time. It was easier to avoid it.
    “But you have to embrace your grief and walk through it,” she said, even though “it’s not fun.”
 

The full article was published in the "Have the Time of Your Life" special section. Click here to read it online for FREE.