Judging the halter
There always has been, and always will be, three types of people in this world: upper, middle and lower class. Another fact of life is that the middle and lower class folks will do almost anything to prove they are from a higher class, while the higher class folks do their darndest to keep the lower class folks down where they belong.
Social status is a simple fact of nature. I don’t know how they performed such tests, but scientists found that multiple dogs will pee on the same post and each one will attempt to urinate higher up the post than the other dogs to show their superiority. This explains the odd, contortionist positions dachshunds will often assume in trying to pee higher up a light pole than a German shepherd or great Dane.
Today there are dog snobs everywhere you look, and wristwatch snobs, and even bottled water snobs. If you drink from one of those square bottles that holds Fijian water, you must be filthy rich. In an attempt to show their friends and neighbors how high up the post they are, people will pay 50 bucks for T-shirts with tiny alligators and polo players on them. They’ll splurge on Orvis fishing rods and never go fishing and buy expensive watches with all their inner guts showing so you can’t even read the time.
Snobbery is running rampant in this country as people try to separate themselves from their own kind by the cigars they smoke and the motorcycles they ride. People who are terrible cooks have $4,000 subzero refrigerators, they burn their organic bacon on Wolf Ranges and store their collectible vino in wine refrigerators bigger than our kitchen. In Home Depot, class warfare breaks out over which shows more class: granite or marble.
I find all these status seekers mildly annoying but especially jazz, art, wine and nowadays the “unbeerable” beer snobs. It’s just beer folks, calm down. Even the town drunk wears a Polo shirt and drives a BMW, it seems. Sometimes all this snobbery and aloofness makes me hope the their wine turns to vinegar, they discover their expensive art is a forgery and their granite cracks.
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