‘The Witches’ remake didn’t need to happen

In 1990, “The Witches” by Roald Dahl was adapted to the screen and starred Angelica Huston. It was creepy and weird but achieved cult classic status in the past 30 years. In 2020, Robert Zemeckis directed a remake starring Anne Hathaway and Octavia Spencer that, thanks to the pandemic, was released directly to HBO Max. Even not in a pandemic, this would have been a straight-to-streaming release.

The story follows Hero Boy (yep, doesn’t even have a name and is played by Jahzir Bruno) who loses his parents in a car accident and goes to live with his grandma (Spencer) in Alabama. She is known to be a healer and tells him the truth about witches, including a tale about her friend who was tricked by a witch and transformed into a chicken. When the boy crosses paths with a witch in the local general store, the witch curses Grandma with a mysterious illness. She packs them up and takes them to a posh hotel on the shore where she thinks they’ll be safe.

Unfortunately, a coven of witches has checked in for a phoney conference, led by the Grand High Witch (Hathaway). The boy sneaks into their hall to witness them remove their gloves and shoes, revealing claws hands and toeless, gnarled feet, and pull off their wigs to reveal bald, scabby heads. They also have huge, sharp-toothy grins and forked tongues (this was pretty creepy, honestly). The Grand High Witch’s plan is to turn all the children in the world into mice as children are despised by witches. Once the boy witnesses another boy in the hotel, Bruno Jenkins (Codie-Lei Eastick), transform into a mouse, things quickly go off the rails, and it’s up to the boy, Bruno, their new friend Mary and Grandma to stop the witches before they turn all the children in the world into tiny mice!

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