The absolute worst
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” George Carlin
I spent 40 years of my life driving 50,000 miles per year going to and from cattle auctions. During that time I comprised my list of the world’s worst drivers.
No. 10 — The horn honkers. The average driver honks his or her horn 15,250 times in their life but I bet I haven’t honked mine 250 times, which means someone is honking their horn over 30,000 times. Why is that person always behind me, laying on their horn while I’m stopped to let a pedestrian cross the road in a crosswalk as I am legally required to do?
No. 9 — Motorcyclists who drive between cars. I live in the only state where lane splitting is legal. Actually, motorcyclists are generally excellent drivers. It’s just very disconcerting to be stuck in a traffic jam when out of the blue something flashes by, scaring the you-know-what out of you. It’s either one of three things, an Air Force fighter jet, a Kawasaki or a lady going to a 50 percent off sale.
No. 8 — Lexus driving executives. Your average adult driver spends 55 minutes per day in his or her car, so it’s only natural that overworked executives try to get a little work done at the same time they’re driving. The problem is, they get so busy working they forget they’re supposed to be driving, so they end up taking up their half of the road out of the middle.
No. 7 — Make-up artists. Why is it that people wait until they get in their car to comb their hair, adjust their earrings and apply their lipgloss. And that’s just the guys. The women are even worse. Once I even saw a guy shaving! At least it was with an electric razor and not Barbasol.
No. 6 — Hippie VW drivers going 20 in a 55 mph. It’s not really their fault, it’s what happens when a person insists on driving a vehicle with a washing machine motor that was made during the Eisenhower administration.
No. 5 — Elderly Americans. I’ll probably hear from the AARP about this but I don’t think we should allow anyone over 98 to drive. But for those elderly Americans who insist on driving I just have one thing to say, TURN OFF YOUR BLINKER!!!
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