Dear leader: It’s not your job to make everybody happy

Certain personality types easily cave in to people pleasing — mine being one of them. I desire to be liked by others. I don’t like to upset the apple cart or challenge anyone. I’m not a fan of conflict so I probably shouldn’t be on a board. Deep within, I desire to make people happy.

Yet, I know this way of living is entirely impossible. Because the truth is, I’m not responsible for everybody’s happiness. Steve Jobs said it best:

“If you want to make everyone happy, don’t be a leader. Sell ice cream.”

I read in a recent article that 10% of every organization or church consists of unhappy people. And often that 10% is very vocal making it seem like more people are frustrated than what’s reality. When a church or organization is thriving and everything is smooth sailing, it’s rare people will email or call and say, “I just love being here. Thank you for being so incredibly awesome.”

Take your phone, for example, you are highly unlikely to email Samsung or Apple and tell them how amazing your Galaxy or iPhone is and how they aid in your productivity and communication abilities every day. You’re more likely to gripe and complain when you have a grievance or problem needing to be solved.

In whatever capacity you lead people, rest assured, you’ll have unhappy campers. Some people are skilled in finding thorns among the roses — I mean, they’re pros at this. So, how do you move forward when a percentage of people don’t like you or something you’ve done?

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