Disputations and usufructs

Don’t you hate it when snobs use $20 words when nickel ones will do? My least favorite words at the moment are metrosexual, shapewear and paradigm. In reading a couple of books recently, I had to grab the dictionary to find out what “disputations” and “usufructs” were. The wordinistas have gone so crazy that now they’re using several words where one worked just fine before, like appearance deficit (ugly), gravitationally challenged (fat), negative patient care outcome (dead) and intergenerational intimacy (I have no idea.)

Now you can add to that list “the urban/rural interface.” Suddenly it’s the place to be. If you’re a bit nebulous, ambiguous or equivocal about what we’re talking about, I have put together a circular and will be your docent as we reconnoiter this anomalous land called the urban/rural interface.

If a horse is your daily driver, you belong on the rural side of the interface, but if “horse” is a game played on asphalt schoolyards in your neighborhood with a basketball, you definitely belong on the urban side of the line.

If there are only 5 inches of drywall and Douglas fir separating you from your closest neighbor, I think it’s obvious on which side of the line you fall. Likewise, if you are telling someone how to get to your abode and it sounds something like this: “Get off the freeway at 23rd Street, turn left onto 10th and you’ll see several huge apartment complexes. I live in the only one on your right that hasn’t been fire-bombed. Using the phone by the entrance to my apartment building, you’ll get a code from me. Then go up 40 stories and I’m in 40017. Granted, it’s not the best neighborhood in town, but it’s only $4,700 a month! I know, I know, I’m one lucky inhabitant. By the way, it’s probably best to come during daylight hours. And bring mace or pepper spray.”

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