Is it a loan or is it a gift?

Dear Dave,

We have $15,000 in credit card debt. My husband works very hard but only makes about $25,000 a year. We’re also living in a very old trailer right now, and I stay at home with our newborn. My dad told us he is willing to pay off our debt if we agree to get financial counseling together and show that we are serious about doing better with our finances. What should we do?

Harper

Dear Harper,

I wouldn’t accept the money from your dad if it’s going to be a loan. If you really want to ruin family events, have debt to your parents. It twists you up inside. And it’ll be especially hard on your husband. No matter what anyone else says, the borrower is always slave to the lender.

If it’s going to be a gift, meaning there’s no expectation of repayment, that’s a different story. Still, I think your dad has a great idea in making the debt payoff contingent on you two going to some kind of financial counseling and making a proactive effort to change things, get out of debt and save money — for your child’s future and for yours. I’d probably do the same thing.

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