The opposite of love

When couples come to me asking if I would officiate their wedding ceremony or when they need marriage counseling – and quite often in the course of preaching a sermon – I ask the question, “What is the opposite of love?” Almost invariably the response is “Hate.” At that point, I explain the proper answer is actually “Selfishness.” Because genuine love will always do what is best for the other person as opposed to doing what is best for themselves if a choice has to be made.

Choosing what is best for you over what is best for the one you claim to love when a choice must be made proves selfishness has won the day or proves love for self is greater than the love for another.

Based upon these definitions, it is easy to determine there is precious little genuine love in our world today, because most everyone is infinitely more interested in themselves than in other people. We are so wrapped up in our own little worlds that we either ignore, or have become conditioned and hardened to the plight of other people around us. 

A scenario like the following may have been played out in your life at some point. You travel a great distance to visit with family and friends over Christmas or some other special occasion, and someone close to you can’t seem to find it within themselves to rearrange their daily routine over the course of a week to spend even a couple of hours with you before you head back home.

You can’t recall any issues of past offences or hard feelings; it just seems that they simply chose to not be inconvenienced in any way to spend some time with people they only get the opportunity to see every other year or so.

There obviously could have been some unknown things going on in their lives at the time that could have explained a situation like the one I have presented, but you definitely are not feeling the love.

This is the underlying premise of Solomon’s thoughts for us today: “The righteous look out for the needs others and for the poor; the wicked have no such concerns.”

The cultural mantra being taught, emphasized and repeated over the last several decades at least, is to look out for No. 1. We are bombarded with the promotion of self-worth, self-esteem, self-fulfillment, and self-love and a myriad of other expressions of self. We are conditioned to always ask “What’s in it for me?” in the situations we face on a daily basis. 

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