True friends

I may have mentioned in a previous column my love of good movies — especially the old westerns. Of the modern-day westerns, I would have to say my favorite is “Tombstone.” “Tombstone” is the retelling of the retelling of the retelling of the story of Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday. We are obviously talking about a movie here, so who knows how accurately they portrayed reality, but in the movie, Wyatt and Doc were true friends. The fact that Wyatt was a lawman and Doc was a gambler/gunslinger of questionable character and repute makes the friendship very unique in many respects. Doc had Wyatt’s back on more than one occasion and vice versa. There was a true bond between them regardless of their personal differences and chosen professions in life. 

It is a difficult thing to develop a friendship that lasts through thick and thin, and Solomon wants us to understand the importance of loyal friendship in his advice for us today — “Many will tell you that they are a loyal friend, but who can find one who is truly faithful?”

In many segments of Solomon’s writings, he implores us to exercise caution in selecting friends. As a general rule, we are to be friendly to everyone and show love at all times in our lives. The admonitions of Solomon deal with the small group of people that you can be completely transparent with. These are the people that you can trust implicitly with pretty much anything about you. As a good friend of mine told me on several occasions, “I not only trust you with my life, but I also trust you with my wife.” 

So how do you find friends like this? How do you develop a friendship that allows you to let down all of your guards and invite someone in on that level? 

Obtaining and developing friendships on this level will be much harder for some than others. I preface this next comment by saying this, “You cannot continue to blame your current life on your past life!” That being said, it is much more difficult for someone to fully trust another person if they were raised in an environment where they could not trust their own parents, or those who raised them in childhood. You will always tend to hold people at arm’s length to avoid the emotional pain you experienced in the past. But therein lies the key to developing close, loyal friendships.

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