Valentine’s Day a hearty occasion
By the time you read this, another one of those iconic Valentine’s Day celebrations will have already taken place. Of course, I hope you and your loved one celebrated properly on this annual heartfelt event, pardon the pun.
The internet tells us that around $27.4 billion was spent in 2020 on those with whom we have a loving relationship — about $197 per person on average. I don’t know if that included COVID-19 masks with little hearts on them or rubber gloves and plastic face shields so that we could hug without transmitting the virus. Those stats were not available, though I tried to find them.
I can tell you honestly and without guilt that I did not spend $197 this year on my wife with whom I have been married for just shy of 50 years. Contributing to this insanity annually boggles my mind a little. I am so romantic. Of course, the amount spent on one another is inversely proportional to the number of years married, so I am probably in the ballpark. So far, she has kept me, regardless of my lack of love luster.
I am not whining, but history shows that the man spends an average of $340 on the woman they love, while the woman only spends around $65 on her male love. From here on out, it is going to get more confusing for statisticians when we start trying to analyze gay exchanges, lesbian exchanges, transgender exchanges and other permutations and computations. Also, if I change from a woman to a man mid-year, do I get myself some candy and flowers? Are there columnists to whom we can write for answers? I want to be politically correct while ensuring I show the right response on this important day. Can you imagine the frustration someone might have when wanting to show his or her love for someone who hasn’t decided what he or she is?
Italy spends more on Valentine’s Day gifts than any other country. You know those Italians — “That’s Amore,” crooned Dean Martin. Around the world, about 145 million cards were given on the day of love — I remember when they used to cost about 25 cents. Now some fancy cards require a few bucks down payment and a quarter a month for a year! Heart-shaped chocolates are given more than any other candy. One year, I gave my wife some Brussels sprouts — I figured I would give her a big kiss if she would fix some for me, since she hates them so much — why was she miffed? Was that not a clever gift? She seemed a little perturbed. After all, she loves guacamole, which I do not (ever since the spewing scene by Linda Blair in “The Exorcist”), and I always scrape my guacamole off the plate at a Mexican restaurant and give it to her. She could cook me some scrumptious sprouts once a year! Gee whiz.
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