Your marriage isn’t sparking joy? Here are 5 next steps to take

    Marie Kondo, the Japanese organizing consultant and author who’s inspiring millions through her books to tidy up their homes and find joy in their living environments, is changing lives. Her principles have helped my own cleaning habits. In her book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up,” she writes, “Keep only those things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge and discard all the rest. By doing this, you can reset your life and embark on a new lifestyle.”
    This applies well to the four corners of my home, but can you imagine if we practiced this principle to the marriage relationship? Oh my! When my husband isn’t speaking my language or sparking joy in my heart by leaving his beard trimmings in the sink or not doing what I want in that exact moment, I can’t just throw him out or chuck my marriage away because it’s not bringing me personal fulfillment and happiness.
    We made a commitment to one another — a face-to-face, hand-holding, eyes-locking, from-the-depths-of-our-hearts promise on the altar before God, family and friends to sacrificially love one another until death do us part. We swore to love one another no matter what — even if a day would come where we didn’t feel the joy inside.
    Many of us know, years pass on, and you can lose the “feelings” of joy especially with the ever-changing seasons in a relationship. Perhaps you’ve been there or are there right now. The elation and thrill in your marriage has been stolen. Your home might be clean, but your relationship is suffering. This is normal, but what do you do next? Here are five steps:
    1. Reflect on where you’re at. Was it a hurtful word spoken, unmet expectation, feeling unloved or refusal to forgive your husband that’s caused the tension? It’s interesting how bitterness can reside in our hearts without our realizing it. Is there something in your relationship threatening your oneness? Ask God to reveal it. Oftentimes, we have a hard time remembering exactly the offense. You may have to do some backtracking. Be prepared for a range of emotions when rehashing old wounds.

The full article is available in our e-Edition. Click here to subscribe.